he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
