When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
