I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
