Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
