did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
