I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
