Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I cut my penus on the lid.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
