And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
there was a trapeze. enough said
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
