Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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