I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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