i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
