i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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