So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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