yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
