I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
