operation harelip BJ is a go
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Randomize
