I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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