just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
