The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
