Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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