At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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