were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
