My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
