dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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