I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
