I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
