You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
false alarm. still invincible.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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