Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
