i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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