so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
