So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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