I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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