if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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