im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
