It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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