his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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