what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
