brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I don't deserve a penis
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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