oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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