Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
