i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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