physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
