just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
