is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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