you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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