My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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