I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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