East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
