yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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