then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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